Dying in childbirth? It’s something I thought didn’t happen in the UK, that was, until it nearly happened to me. I gave birth to my fraternal twins and experienced a traumatic labour where I ended up needing a transfusion of four litres of blood.
My life was in danger and if it hadn’t been for the well-prepared and quick acting staff at UCLH I would have lost my life.
I was in complete shock when I started to bleed out. I had been in labour for over 24 hours and it had taken two and a half hours to deliver my son vaginally. He finally arrived after an episiotomy and no sooner had I held him in my arms, he was taken from me while my episiotomy was stitched back together. I was bleeding far too much. The formerly white bed sheets were now bright red and were weighed. Suddenly I was rushed into theatre and forced to sign a form to consent to a C-section if required.
“I’ll never forget how lucky I am to be a mum, to have my family, to have survived.”
My daughter had turned transverse and needed turning and I was losing a lot of blood. I remember feeling like I had nothing left to give, but after a last push and forceps, she was born and finally my twins were here. I couldn’t hold her as the medical team worked tirelessly attaching me to drips and giving me a transfusion while my now empty uterus kept pumping out blood, unable to contract after the births and afterbirth.
I was lying on the table, the life force draining away from me and losing consciousness. The next few moments are like a slideshow in my mind, blackness followed by the image of my husband in scrubs, looking at our babies. Blackness followed by staff saying my name in loud voices, blackness followed by injections and blood pressure readings, blackness followed by the image of the doctor between my legs, his face concerned, blackness followed by someone telling me about a balloon being inserted into my womb to try and stop the bleeding.
I was scared I was going to die and my husband was terrified he was going to lose me.
I came close.
I was wheeled to the recovery ward, finally able to hold my babies and try some breastfeeding. I was kept in front of the theatre for days in case I needed to have a hysterectomy. The post-traumatic shock set in quickly and I found my body shaking uncontrollably for hours. For a week I was unable to move.
But I’m one of the lucky ones. I kept my womb, my babies and my life. But the story could have easily gone in a different direction had I been in a less privileged country or less well equipped hospital.
I’ll never forget looking over at my husband and babies, wondering if they would be ok if I didn’t make it. I’ll never forget the horror I felt when I realised I was losing consciousness.
Sadly, postpartum haemorrhage is still a global problem and the leading cause of death from childbirth. That’s why it’s so important that the right actions and research programmes are carried out. To save mothers. To save babies. To save futures.
Ursula Rose, blogger and first time mum to boy/girl twins, United Kingdom